My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
