brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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