so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize