I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
