Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
