And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
its liver damage thursday
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
