I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
