Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
lets start a swedish sibling band together
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
