Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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