pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
