Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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