i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
