I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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