I'm gonna have a badass scar
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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