They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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