i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
