we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I'm like, not good at living.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
