You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Randomize
