Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
