I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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