Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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