It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Sext me about skeletons
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Randomize
