So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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