I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
