these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
