Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
