is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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