We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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