what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
