party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
