If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
