i already hear my dad disowning me
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
