girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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