Pants 0. Shit 1.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
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