I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
