you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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