awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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