Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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