ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
