garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Panties = found
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