Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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