Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
