take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Can I color on your dick again?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
