Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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