Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
