My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
