I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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