Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
