Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
