it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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