did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
