She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
