You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
