i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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