you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
