ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
