If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
