we should wear snuggies to the strip club
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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