Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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