I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
