I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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