After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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